2019

2019. If I had known the places I would go this year – I wouldn’t have believed it. Phoenix, Grand Canyon (Rim2Rim2Rim), Banff, my second 100 mile (112 miles) Traversing Connecticut by foot, Adirondacks almost every weekend (11 weekends/24 days in the ADKS), Catskills, 6 days in Italy — Traversing the Alta Via 1 trail, crewing friends in Virginia (pacing 33 miles of Yeti 100). Crewing and pacing Scott in Kentucky (19 miles of War hammer 100). Miles in Harriman State Park, and New Jersey. Peak count totalling 85 for 2019 –> 27 ADK High Peaks, 38 ADK non-High Peaks, 4 Catskill Peaks, and 16 other peaks ranging from Mountains in AZ, Italy, and CT.

I even did some races — Breakneck half marathon (Beacon, NY) , New Paltz Pizza Challenge ( πŸ˜… ), Sweeping Iron Mines (New Jersey), Twisted branch 100k, Philly Marathon. A couple relays — Mighty Misquito 99, and Cast A Shadow snowshoe relay.
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Italy brought me out of my shell for the first time in a long time – around a large group of people. I could spend everyday with that group.

I spent most adventure time with Strat – as we would pack up and drive to the Adirondacks late every Thursday night. Car sleep or no sleep and hike Friday/Saturday and head home. Never had to pack or unpack – as we just used the same stuff every weekend. (No Strat and are are not dating — as everyone always thinks so :p )

Mertsock would join us last minute any chance he could – and would lead us on the most epic trips.
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2019 had its struggles.

In 2018 everything felt hard. I always thought I was bad at hills. I was always the last one up a mountain – Strat always had to wait.

So early in 2019 – I felt weird. Running didn’t feel good. Something was out of whack. So I sucked it up and went to the DOC. Found out I was anemic – popped some Iron pills just in time to do CUT112 — and I felt the difference.

After the CUT things got weird again.

In June I was hit by some weird stomach stuff. A lot of Doctor appts, a lot of tests, no real answers. Even a colonoscopy. Everything said I was fine. But I couldn’t run. I did Devils path with some of the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I was scared how Italy would go… and it bothered me there. But not as bad. — I’m still figuring it out, and still have my bad days, but I’ve learned to control it.

Otherwise though – I love hills now. I love climbs. I don’t die every time.
My energy is good – and most runs feel good.
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In these adventures and mountain miles. I’ve spent a lot of time figuring out what I’m doing with my life. Surrounded by friends with real lives and family. And here I am – just all over the place.

I don’t share my life with one person. I share it with many. And I’m learning that that’s ok?
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I’ve lived my whole life thinking I had to have a boyfriend. I had to get married. Because that’s what people do. You live to fall in love.

I fell in love once. Since that ended I’ve fallen in love everyday. With people, with places. Nothing has stole my heart like the Adirondacks did this year.

Don’t get me wrong – I want to be with one person some day.
But for now I’m content.

It’s hard experiencing the best days of your life – knowing they will end. The love you feel in this moment will fade. But the memories last forever. You’ll miss the people the you spent these unlimited hours with. Forever connected by the experience of completing something you didn’t think you’d complete.

Managing to laugh at each other through sleep deprivation and energy depletion. To get stronger as the days and miles add up. Experiencing true exhaustion and hallucinations. Sleeping 10 minutes and it feeling like 2 hours.

No feelings quite like what you feel after completing 51 hours of the CUT112. Or 10 hours traveling through the heart of the Adirondacks. Taking steps and seeing things only the Birds, Moose, and Bears see. OR 75 Miles exposed traversing trails of the Dolomites, and walking with Italian cows. Waking up every morning to people you vaguely knew, but now have become family. And everyday trekking above the clouds.

To sum things up. I’m lucky. Lucky to have best friends and adventure partners. Lucky to have Strat and Mertsock – making life less lonely, and up for everyday adventures. Matt and Adam – however far away they are, they’re stuck with me for life. Rochester Running Co – Giving me opportunities to design as well as help lead adventures. Red Newt Racing and Mountain Peak Fitness – Always look forward to races and team gatherings. They continue to welcome me, support me, and include me in awesome adventures. #Trailsroc – Will always be where it started. Where I met my first training partners, my first trail races, and supported me in my first 100.

Here’s to more new adventures. More best days. And the ever expanding adventure family.
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2019 Totals:
Miles Ran: 1817 miles
Miles Raced: 401.7 (11 Races)
Mountains climbed: 85 Peaks
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Whats coming in 2020?

March: Mount Tamanny 10
— Something got in my head and made me think this was a good idea.

June: CUT112 again
— Even though we finished the entire course last year – It was marked as a DNF, since it was outside the cutoff. I’m going back for a faster attempt.

July/August: Italy — Helping lead the Alta Via 2 trip
— Potentially staying for 2 weeks and leading Alta Via 1 as well.

Beckhorn Prints: Strat and I are starting something.
— Stay tuned. Or check out instagram.

The End.

Twisted Branch 100k – 2019

2015 – 17:36:56 (Trained)
2017 – 18:01:38 (Sorta trained)
2019 – 18:53:38 (No training)

Start Photo by Ron Heerkens Jr/ GF Media

I’ve tried all approaches to Twisted. Training/no training. They all end up the same. Maybe this is the course I strive to beat. But so far – it just eats you up. As the wise Vidmar told me after I told him this same thing — “It seems to find, expose, and make us confront any vulnerabilities we might have going in. But, perhaps that is also its gift.”
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It was a rough few weeks leading up to this. 55 hour work weeks. I felt trapped and frustrated. And after spending the weekend before in the ADKs, I just wanted to retreat back. I considered the DNS. But of course as the week ended – things settled down. And a long day in the woods is all I wanted anyway.
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I was curious if this was still the hardest ultra I’ve done.

It is.
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Going into this – I had no running miles. But tons of time on feet. Weekends in the mountains. Italy trip and CUT112 still on my mind. I knew finishing wouldn’t be an issue. How would running that much go – after not running much at all?

So to start. My CUT112 buddy Adam was running too. And after sticking together for 112 miles before – we started this race together. With Abby by my side as well. The 3 of us cruised along for a while, until Abby got out her poles and left us in her uphill dust.
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Running actually felt ok.

We cycled through running, and hiking. Feeling like we were moving well and making good time. Feeling like I was running more than past years – but then again… I didn’t really remember. We found ourselves at 50k near 7.5 hours.

We both bonked hard on our way into Patch Rd Aid Station. My feet were hurting – and they never hurt like this. I fiddled with my shoes – the tongue kept getting sucked and scrunched into my shoe, putting pressure on my foot. I adjusted it, but knew it wouldn’t last.

Adam bounced back quick. I still felt depleted. But we’d try to run as much as we could to get to Bud Valley.

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Going into this – I didn’t care about finishing. During this – Definitely didn’t care about finishing. I was content dropping at Bud Valley. But told myself if Mertsock was there…. I couldn’t drop. And of course he was.

I was excited he was there. Smiled and waved as we ran in. Pretending I wasn’t dying inside.

I fiddled with my shoes again at Bud. And complained about my socks. I even looked at my spare socks in my drop bag – but changing them seemed like such a large task. I would survive with what I had. My shoes on the other hand – were living there last miles. And my feet were feeling there death.
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Spirits were good when Mertsock jumped in. But soon after the clouds rolled in and we were drenched. The rain lasted a while. The mud was not cool.
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My spirits didn’t last long. I was trying. My brain chemicals were gone.

I kept feeling like I couldn’t come back. I was defeated.
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I’d hear my breath get weezy. Tears would roll in my eyes. Nothing was wrong. Why was I freaking out?

I was frustrated that maybe this wasn’t what I wanted to be doing. This wasn’t the stress relief I was looking for earlier in the week.

I was tired of eating Aid station stuff. I didn’t want anything. Tired of gels. and pickles. Even the real food didn’t look appealing. Although Lake David got me with Donut slices and coffee beans.

I was tired of feeling chased. I kept craving our “no mans land” – but every time we’d find our spot, we’d hear voices again. So many people. — Not that it wasn’t great to see how others were doing. I think we all just look for that time of solitude.

Photo by Mertsock at Lake David

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Panic attacks creeped on me basically the whole time from Bud Valley to Urbana. Without warning.

Luckily the 3 of us have done this before. We were re-living the CUT112. Adam and I racing. Mertsock pacing. Both of them knowing my deaths won’t last forever.
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My goal was to make it to Urbana. All I really wanted to do was run the stretch from Michelsville. My favorite 2.5 miles, no matter how I feel – I’ve always been able to run there.

I was not expecting to have a melt down. On the way down from Lake David – I couldn’t control the tears. I saw the Michelsville tent. Tried to stop crying. Nope. I couldn’t stop anything. I ran by the Aid saying “I’m just gonna go.” Ditching Adam and Mertsock. And for the first time – actually cried. As I ran away. It felt good. A little dramatic. But I felt free!

I heard Mertsock running behind me. And as the melt down ended and we navigated some fence and barbed wires, I was excited to get this done.

A little guilty for leaving Adam after he had stuck with me all day. But Mertsock assured me he’d catch up. And he did.
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We swapped Mertsock for Strat at Urbana. I was content with stopping here all day. But my current mood had me ready to finish at the beach.

I was slow again.

Mount Washington is never the worst of the course. Every year it’s always felt pretty good. Maybe you stop caring at that point? Or maybe the switch backs make it forgiving. The worst is the trail just after.

It takes forever to get down to Winding Stair road. I used to think it was the Triad trail. But Triad is quick. And fun switch backs.

But this pre-Triad trail…. had me angry. I was angry at the mud. Angry at this little hill that Strat and Adam bounced up. But I was stuck walking in place. So mad. I cried. Cause I don’t know what else to do with emotions.
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It was relieving to reach Winding Stair rd. And we ran our way to the Triad turn. And kept running our way through the switch backs. I looked and saw 10:46 pm – 14 minutes to beat 19 hours. (which we actually had 10 more minutes cause of late start) But I asked Strat –

“Think we can finish in 10 minutes?”
— Strat “Yes”.

“Really?”

I believed it. We cranked a few extra gears. Rolled in at 10:58pm.

Another by Mertsock at Lake David.

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Part of me never wants to do this again. Part of me thinks this course is just not meant for me. Then the stubborn part of me wants to see if I can do it….

Guess we’ll see in 2 years. Staying true to every odd year.

Next year I’ll bring back the lights.
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Twisted. A super runnable course. Sneaking over 10,000 feet of gain in 65 miles. All via the best trails in the Finger Lakes.

Something makes this course so challenging. Harder than 100 milers. Harder than staying awake for 51 hours.

Some seem to figure it out. I just don’t know. Sure is awesome though.
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Thank you Scott. Your creation is one of a kind – and the best and hardest on the east coast. Thank you Twisted Crew – for all the hours of hard work and support along the course. Thank you volunteers for helping me survive, and all the high fives and cheers.

Thank you Adam for sticking with me – no matter how many times I told you to leave. Best company and great friend to spend the miles with.

Mertsock for pacing us for 20 miles. Keeping me moving even while my brain had lost all hope. Attempting shoe fixes mid trail – resulting in broken laces – but using Macgyver skills to pin things together and make it work. Always the luckiest to share miles with you.

Strat- For transporting everything and everyone. And pacing us the last bits from Urbana. Telling us we’re crushing it- even when it felt like we were crawling. And pushing us when we felt we could run.

Chris-O – For spending your birthday with your run fam. Lucky to have you all over the course. And especially at the end. Thanks for laughing at me and supporting me like always!
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What’s next?

Pretty sure Im adventuring every weekend.

But then a road marathon in November. yes. A marathon. Cause it’s been a while. And we’re getting G-Street back together.

The end.

CUT112 – 2019

“Think of everything we just accomplished. How far we’ve come.”- Adam

“Have we accomplished anything? All we’ve done is walked. We haven’t done anything. But yes – we moved pretty far… lol” – Me

A piece of dialogue somewhere between mile 90 and 112.
Of Connecticut’s Blue blazed Trails.

Views like this began early in the race. And throughout the entire thing.

We started Friday May 31st at Rising Corner, MA. The Border of MA and CT. We walked over the border to start our journey across Connecticut at 8am. Friends Matt Kornaker and Adam Raszewski were running as well – and we planned to stick together.

We had a solid crew – Jason Vidmar and Scott Parr were there from the Start – with our own 007 in the form of Mike Mertsock joining in later.
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Now. I don’t know how to recap this.
51 hours and 36 minutes to traverse 112 miles.

I had no plans of finishing. A week before this – I wasn’t sure I would even start. But a trip to the ADKs got things feeling good again – and I’d give it a shot.

It was nice having the 3 of us. There were maybe 20 people running the “event” – but very early on it was just us. It was our race – our adventure – we kept track of pace to meet our finishing time goal – but even as that slipped away, we didn’t stress.


Our first overnight was during Castle Craig. Potentially one of the hardest sections – and confusing to navigate. It felt like we were going in circles. Long climbs, then long downs, then longer climbs when we thought we were almost out of there.

I was bonking hard. Just thinking of that bridge our crew would be waiting on – and how I would curl up in a ball when I got there.

Every low would get distracted by something cool. We would come up on trapp rocks, overlooks, little caves, towers, and this – Castle Craig.

We climbed the stairs to the top – and thought about staying 30 minutes to watch the sun-rise. Matt and I layed on the cold metal steps with our legs up. I could do this forever. Vidmar looked down and laughed.

The steps of Castle Craig – Matt and I.

The journey was full of laughs. We laughed at each others suffering. Matt with the chaffing. I couldn’t walk behind him without cracking up.

The boulder launching of mile 20 – when we got lost and bushwhacked up a ravine. We lost some time and Matt and Adam lost some blood – my fault.

Bushwhacking a ravine due to getting lost.

We talked about ridiculous things. Tick checks every 5 minutes. Adam found 6 on him during this. Who knows how many more when he wasn’t looking.

When we died at mile 55. And again at 101.

Our brains telling is to stop because we were doing long term damage to ourselves. I imagined poison ivy reaching my hands as I touched my eyes and everything else. I imagined how bad the next days would be with puffy eyes and rashes over my face. I felt my kidneys burning and yes – uterus leaving. I got girl problems at some point during this… TMI. I thought about this being a good enough excuse to stop. But every time we got up again – I felt pretty good.

There were no excuses – I felt like I had endless miles on my legs.
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The Higby Mountain demoralizer.

Our lowest point of the trek. I was scared we traumatized Mertsock, who witnessed our brains and bodies go to some dark places. We walked in silence. I would disappear.

I was so impressed with my brain this whole adventure – until now. I was sad. Too sad to want to go on. Too sad for ice cream that was waiting at the bottom of this mountain. I wanted to disappear. I choked on a bug. And broke down.

I would come in an out of the mental breakdown. I started talking to Adam. Told him I was being sad. He was out of it too. We got to the bottom – The parking lot of Guida’s Dairy. I was excited for ice cream again. But quickly got overwhelmed – and retreated to being horizontal.

I wouldn’t be able to go on if I didn’t eat anything. I was too sad to want anything still. But inched over to the peanut m&m’s. And grabbed a protein drink. My brain was back quickly after that.
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I wasn’t tracking our mileage. But I kept track of time. I would get excited at hour mile stones. The longest treck before this was 27.5 hours.

I was excited to see what 30 felt like. Then what 40 felt like – as we went into our second overnight. Then 48 hours – officially moving for 2 days.

Things definitely get a little weird when sleep deprived. I saw pink balloon houses – which were tree’s with pink flowers as we got closer. Things moving in the woods, were usually just our shadow. I saw Matt in front of me 95% of time. He was not there.

Thank god we had Mertsock pacing us. Because my eyes were glued to the ground. I would not be able to coordinate looking for blazes with walking.
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I began to get too sleepy. I told Adam I didn’t think I could keep going if I’m this tired. I barely wanted to stand. As we got to our crew at mile 90 – I layed down and covered my head. I heard Adam lay down shortly after – and crew saying “wake him up in 5 minutes”. We were at Arties bar.

Mertsock had called this last section “a project.” It was indeed rough.

I was content with being done here. But heard Adam get up and start looking at the elevation profile. Talking about the next few sections. Dang it Adam.

About 17,000 elevation gain.

I got up. The next section was only 4 miles. I could make that one – but thinking after that, I would be done. We started walking again. We were stiff and cold. And walking at a 1 mile per hour pace.

“I can’t do this Adam!”
“This is too slow! hahaha” – Me
“I know sorry – I can’t move” – Adam
“No – I can’t go any faster either….hahaha” – Me
“OMG this is going to take forever.”

We got moving though.
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The next 4 miles seemed much longer than 4 miles. And as hills were supposed to be decreasing- still seemed like we had to climb a bunch.

This section had an important turn that we could not miss (else we’de be headed back north). But ofcourse – we missed it. It didn’t take long for Mertsock to see we were off course. And he took off to scout.

It was still dark. And as we wait for Mertsock’s return – we see his headlamp wayyyy up on the ridges we came from. Then suddenly back down and over, and up. He was on Mission Impossible 3.

He found where we had to be – and had us follow him on a little bushwack. Our very own 007sock.
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We got to our crew again shortly after. And I was awake again. Ready to keep going. We had one long section left through the Timberland Preserve. 6.8 miles. Then we would only have 3 short ones. Then done.

Energy began to be short lived. As we were walking I would get tired again. I was prepared with snacks to keep me awake. But only the act of chewing was working. As I finished one bite. I’d be nodding off again.

Mertsock had even started sleep walking.
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I imaged the ground I’d be able to lay on again – once we got to the cars. I didn’t care if it was 2 minutes. My eyes needed to close for more than a couple seconds.

It was a long section. And as we finished – I bee lined for the pavement. Scott covered me with his sleeping bag. I heard Adam lay down shortly after. And heard “10 minutes.” I was out.
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I woke up on my own. And stayed still.

“What was I doing?” – I can’t remember.

I layed as I tried to remember where I was. I was outside. I was doing something…..

Then I remembered Scott and Mertsock were there. I peaked out of my sleeping bag. They were sitting looking at there phones. “Oh good – they didn’t see me”. I covered my head again.

Then I felt panicked. They must’ve been waiting for hours! I felt so bad. Mertsock must be so tired. I flung the sleeping bag off and sat up.

Scott had saw me peak the first time. Dang it.

CUT112 – Mile 102

They woke Adam up. And I was amazed it was only 10 or so minutes. I was ready to get this done. we were at mile 102. And only 10 left. A good chunk of it would be road at the end.
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Scott was with us now – and took us all the way to the end. We even had to take 2 elevators – to get over a railway station.

The finish didn’t come easy. It was long and drawn out. But we ran the last .2 miles to the beach. And running felt good.

Crew waiting at the finish line.
Adam and I – Finished – and with Belt Buckles.

I was excited to get some time with crew. I had been wanting to finish – because they came so far to help us.

We lost Vidmar the day before. Who had to return home for work. And Mertsock and Scott would have to leave later this day. Matt had paced us in the first half but dropped at 100k – and stuck with us as crew.
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It was everything I hoped for. I wanted to see all of these trails after crewing it last year. We would finish a section – we would be dead – But my motivation was always – I wanted to see what’s next.

And I wanted my crew to see it too.

When Mertsock told me this was one of his favorite adventures. And he enjoyed every minute. That was everything. I would die happy.

How often do you spend 24 – 60 some hours straight – with the people you can’t get enough of.

This is one for the history books. My heart needs nothing more but to remember the hours I spent here.

Gotta venture through the dark to appreciate the light…or so someone once said! – Jason Vidmar aka Dark Angel. 

The end.

We didn’t get an official finish. Cut off was 45 hours.
But we will return next year for redemption!

Start: 5/31 8:00 AM
Finish: 6/2 11:36 AM
Miles: 112
Time: 51 hours 36 minutes
Elevation: 17,000
Calories: Almost 15,000

Thanks to Art Byram and everyone involved in this “Fat Ass” event. All donations go to preserving these Blue Blazed Trails – and so we can keep attempting this every year.

Thank you for the support – and recognizing our finish. Even though it was outside of the cut-off. Thank you for one of the best weekends of my life.

Something else.

I keep finding myself in situations where I’m not sure I belong. Am I still a runner? Can I even call myself an ultra runner? Is it like “once an ultra runner – always an ultra runner?”
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I’ve got CUT112 coming up in just a few weeks. And I can’t remember the last time running felt “easy”.

My knees and feet are craving a break. I’m not running a ton – but they just aren’t recovering. I could probably try harder to help them.
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Anyway. I used to love racing.

I found myself at Breakneck Point Trail Marathon almost a month ago. I was hoping once I got going I would get into it. And I did – I had fun. But I didn’t feel like being out there with the pressure of a “finish time.” I wanted to be out there on my own. I didn’t want this to end. But race pressure is for it to end fast.

I started with the marathoners. Hoping I’d suck it up and be one too. But shortly after – the half marathoners were already passing by. It could of been demoralizing. but all I thought about was why I was there.

Why was I there?

I didn’t belong as a racer. But I belonged as someone who took seconds to look around. I was someone who just wanted to be outside, and take in the long lost heat of a 75 degree day. I was craving the sweat drenched clothing, and technical downhill bombs. And as always the 955 foot crawl up the infamous Breakneck Point.

I got what I came for in the Half Marathon. Came into the finish after a solid 2 mile push at the end. I was content. I didn’t need excuses for not going back out for the full. I just didn’t want to.

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I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m doing something.

But maybe I’ve moved on to adventuring. Ultra adventuring.

More miles come when your not thinking about miles. Miles add up when you spend more time outside. The quickest way to get back to where you want to be – is making more time for it.

The end.

66 hour East Coast adventure

Some Sums.

—2018—

2018. The most miles I’ve ran since 2015 (and I pretty much stopped running in October). 2116.33 Miles.

The most mountains I’ve hiked. Ever. 74 Peaks. 282.9 Mountain Miles.

The least amount of races since I started racing a ton in 2012.
9 races – and 274.5 race miles.

First 100 finish – 27.5 hours.

2018 – it’s been solid. But It’s time for a break.Β 

I’ve never taken a solid chunk of time off. “Off” meaning I still run randomly – but I don’t feel like I need to squeeze that run in before work – or during work. It won’t do any good.Β 

Instead I’m hitting Pursuit Performance 3-4 times a week. And running most on the weekends. And occasional short races. Not wearing a watch – cause it broke. And they are expensive. Not caring how far I go or how fast. Taking it easy — till…………

— 2019 —

This past June I crewed Ben Nephew in The Connecticut Ultra Traverse – And I fell in love with those trails. 

So I registered to run in next year – 112 Miles starting May 31st. 

The CUT112 – Is not a formal race. It’s free. But generous donations to Connecticut Forest and Parks are encouraged. The course starts at the border of Massachusetts and runs all the way down to the long island sound.  

I’m looking forward to this. I’m looking forward to another month or so of rest and strength building – then get into some training. 
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Also in 2019 – My third Twist Branch 100k. Because I’m committed to run it every other year. Also because It takes a year to forget how hard it is. 

The End. 

If there’s a bear…

I use to love Carbon Leaf’s song “Live a life less Ordinary”. The next line is “Live a life extraordinary.” And I always thought yes.

Maybe I’ve accepted a life of alone (hopefully not forever tho ;p). But I’ve also accepted a life of adventure. I can say I take chances whenever I can. I put my body through the ringer – and will keep doing it. I’ll get the most I can. Miles on the legs. Adventures with friends.

I always say – if somethings gonna happen. It’ll happen. If there’s a bear – then you meet a bear. But you probably wont die. And if you do – well you were being awesome.
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But what is real? What is the point of anything. Never be comfortable because anything can change in a second. Minute. Day.
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I’ve been training for Many on the Genny – 40 mile – in 3 days now. But running doesn’t feel great. Easy runs feel hard. I wake up and ask myself – How do I even run?

But they’ve been getting done. Slowly.

Am I worried? No.

Whatever it is – it happens. The body fights for rest – and I’ll fight to give it.

I’ve been getting miles – but some have been adventure miles.
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So that brings me back to the bear. I’ve spent days in the woods the last few months. Days accompanied by nights outside my comfort zone.

Pitching a tent off some random trail. Hammocking in some random woods. Laying awake listening for foot prints of something heavy. Listening to trees fall, and thinking that’d be an awful way to go.

But all these thoughts that raise the heart beat get pushed aside. Because. It probably won’t happen. I’ll probably live. And there’s something about this rush, and this fear, all being part of the adventure.

Adventures so far this year:
Catskills – Bushwhack to Furr, Big Indian, then Eagle and Balsam.
ADKS – The Sewards, Big Slide, Tupper Lake Triad
CatKills – Devils Path
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Other forms of “The Bear” have been – just doing things. Not over thinking. Driving to Connecticut at 1am to Crew a teammate and sleeping 49 minutes in 2 days.

Is it worth the sleep deprivation? Health? Gas mileage? Risk of something happening?
– Yes
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What’s after MOTG?– Whiteface SkyRaces – I’ll be volunteering. After that? Something.

1420 Miles for the year so far – 200 away from my total last year.

Stay tuned.

Antelope Training – not dead yet.

There’s strength in failing. It can’t always be back to back weekends of 70+ miles. Some people can. I thought I could.

I’ve been taking my head out of running. If it’s on the schedule – That’s what I’ll do. That’s what comes first. No matter how much I feel like I’m crawling, I can always find that second gear. Well – That’s unrealistic. I find out I’m human. You gotta break down to build up. But break down without going too far.
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Ending February with 267 miles trained.
Compared to January’s – 272.4

I was on track to beat that mileage this month. But there’s times to push.
And times to listen to your body.

I weigh the thoughts of – Is this really that hard? How is my body really feeling?

Then I look at my heart rate of 170 and I’m going 12:00 miles.
Something’s going on.

Antelope is coming – 3 more weeks.
The training is in – just got to hold it together.

Antelope Training

One full month of training down. And I’ve officially ran the most mileage since 2015.
I ended January with 272.4 miles. — The most I’ve ever ran in 1 month!
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I started to ramp up mileage in November to prepare for the real training to start in December. I contacted a friend and very successful and talented ultra runner (Daven) asking if he would have interest in coaching me to run this thing.

After mulling it over – He agreed. And said training would start now. Starting in Mid December was shaky. I was figuring out how to shift running as a priority – rather than working too much and not sleeping.

I ended December with 181.9 miles. However half of it was elliptical.
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January came with dangerous wind chills, and a couple of snow storms. I shifted runs around, so I could get the most out of the longer stuff. Daven has me on roads, with 2 speed workouts a week.

I could feel the toll it was taking on my body. I would end some runs feeling like death. My feet hurt. I would question how I would be able to run for hours again the next day. But I’m finding recovery stuff actually works. I go to bed and hope for the best – wake up and it’s not so bad anymore.
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I’ve been struggling with pain in my right heel. And as of 2 weekends ago – my left arch. Sometimes I can’t tell if they are getting better. Or worse. But I’m trying to be smart. They actually felt pretty good after ending last weeks biggest mileage week. I’ll take that as a good sign.
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So far – This training stuff is awesome. It’s helped me simplify. Before I do anything else – I do my run. Or go to the gym. Running comes first. Which is also putting myself first. I’m not committing to anything other than training – and showing up to work on time.
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Less than 2 months to go. A lot more running to do. Just hope my feet hold up.

#getrekt

 

Lone time.

I’m going on 3 years alone. I struggle with feeling broken. Alone is my comfort zone. And I’m scared that I’m doomed to a lifetime of it.

I’m lucky to have friends and parents and co-workers. A number of places to go if I ever needed somewhere or someone. When did I become so obsessed with “me time”? I run for hours by myself. You’d think that’s enough.

*I promise I wont make a habit of these feelings post. Just sometimes I think. And sometimes I’m bored*Β 
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I blame ultra running.

I was sucked into a world of freedom and adventure. Long hours in the woods. Weekends with friends. Experiences and life long memories. The things that mattered most. The things that I miss most everyday. The moments I want to last forever, but I know are so temporary. How do you come home after the best days of your life?

Maybe some day I’ll get tired of the unknown. Maybe someday I’ll want comfort, and normalcy. Maybe someday I could spend most of my time with one person again. Either I’m just not ready, or I still haven’t met them yet.Β Life is simple. But has to be so complicated.

I’ve met plenty of great people. But I get attached to the ones I can’t have. And run away from the ones I can.
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I think about being alone. And I’m ok with it. I believe I can change some day.

But I wish I was back in that cabin in the ADKS. Or in that van with strangers. Or by that fire. Or on that mountain.

I miss laughing all the time.
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There are times I compromise. I give up. Hide. That’s ok. In the end, the steps back don’t matter as much as all the steps forward. I’ll keep trying. I’ll do the things I need to do. And what I think is right. Never know what’s next.

Be happy about the day. Enjoy the trails alone or with the people you love. Run easy. Low effort. High will.

Happy New Year. Again.

2018

Looking at 2018:

I was lucky enough to receive a sponsorship from #Trailsroc
to run a 100 Miler out West.

So I’m registered to run the Antelope Island Buffalo Run – In Utah – In March.
On my Birthday actually πŸ™‚
Check out this persons Strava of the course.

I’ve started training. And I’ve asked for help (yesss a coach).
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I went into the majority of races this year undertrained. As in – I didn’t train.
It was a nice break – but I’m excited to be back again.
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Why Antelope Island?
It mostly just seemed perfect.

  • It’s in Utah
  • It’s on my Birthday.
  • It starts at NOON. Who needs 4am start times- I’ll be running all night anyway.
  • Elevation isn’t crazy 7670′ vertical gain.

So yeah – My ideal 100 – Runnable, all trail, late start, out west. With the added plus of looking at mountains and dodging Bison for ~30 hours. Only negative – It might be cold (30-50’s). But I’ve spent 13 hours in single digits before… and only minorly died. Also it’ll feel warm compared to this winter so far.

I’m taking training one day at a time.

Currently struggling with the usual foot problems – with the addition of some heal pain. Hoping the heal thing just goes away – It’s come and gone before. But I’ve been mixing it up with roads/trail/elliptical and Bikram yoga.
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In other news. There’s this awesome thing happening in 2018

The Empire State Triad

3 of the best Ultra’s in NY State. I’ve ran all of them. 2 of them are my all time favorites. One of them is just brutal and beautiful, and worth spending your entire day on the trail.

June 23 – Many on the Genny – 40 Mile
July 21st – Cayuga Trails – 50 Mile
August 18th – Twisted Branch – 100k

Don’t do just one. Do all 3.
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Quick look back on the past.
2017:
I ran 1674.1 Miles
and raced 383.4 (15 races)
Completed 6 Ultras – (not including the Ragnar Ultra).

1600~ miles is about what I ran in 2014. But I raced the most miles yet.
Definitely #undertrained.
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More History – cause numbers are fun.
2012: Ran 1270.1 / Raced 180.4 (18 races)
2013: Ran 1227.66 / Raced 232.2 (24 races)
2014: Ran 1610.9 / Raced 306.5 (24 races)
2015: Ran 2235.75 / Raced 322 (16 races)
2016: Ran 1966.81 / Raced 379.96 (19 races)
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I don’t have any plans yet other than this 100. 2 more months.

Happy New Year.

The End.